Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Put on a happy face

I've been intending to write a new post almost every day since the last one. Yes, you've heard that one before. Yes, I am a terrible procrastinator. Yes, I got busy/ distracted/ uninspired/ overinspired/ everything that we all say every time...

I was feeling a bit up and down last week. By which I mean I was feeling very low, and then felt a lot better. And I've been struck lately by the number of creative bloggers out there who also get depressed. And I don't mean just generally feeling a bit low. I mean debilitating depression. I'm wondering if it's me. Am I just attracted to the sort of people who get depressed? People like me, in fact?

I've struggled with bouts of depression over the last 10+ years. I think I'm winning. I've got a lot better at dealing with it, and now, on the whole, I'm able to realise that however bad I feel, I will get better. A few years ago, I had counselling, which was helpful in an almost surreptitious way. I wasn't sure I was coming to any conclusion, but certain things just stopped being a problem. I think the counselling also helped me to talk to other people with problems in a non-judgemental way.

And I think that that made a lot of friends talk to me about their depression. In fact my three best friends (partner not included) all have depression in varying degrees. It's extremely common, of course. (Although there is a bit of me that worries that I've made them depressed! Does talking to me make the whole world seem bleak and hopeless? Only if I wear the scary doll mask, I expect! )

Anyway, lots of creative work really helps. I've been trying to get lots done for the Art Trail exhibition next week, Lots of new work, which has started to go in pleasing directions. I've been making assemblages with old doll heads, and managed to get a nice lot off ebay.
Don't have nightmares...


Renee said...

I'm so sorry! I guess it's best to think positive - you will get better! (c; Hugs!

I'm here if ya ever want to talk.

I don't know if what I have is depression, but I just want to make things alllll the time. AND then when I get the time, I don't know what to make, get so frustrated, and then have no more time! )c;

If only I could quit my day job, and then I would be broke!

Kitsch and Curious said...

Thanks, Renee, that's so kind of you. I didn't mean it to sound quite so bad. I'm so much better than I used to be. Like I said - it's up and down.

And I HAVE given up the day job, and I AM broke, but so much happier for it! (It's a long story, and I might tell it in this blog one day...)

I just thought I'd blog about the depression, as I see quite a few references to it in the creative community (or maybe I just notice them more than most people). And I thought I'd put my hand up and say "Yeah, me too!".

A Thrifty Mrs said...

Depression is so tough, I have had clinical depression since I was very young and it is so hard to see through it sometimes.

I think the reason a lot of bloggers seem to have periods of depression is because creative people often do get struck by it and creative people blog.

I hope you feel brighter soon.

Kitsch and Curious said...

Thanks, Mrs T. I think you're right.

Glad you found my blog. I've just had a look at yours, and enjoyed it very much.

Camilla said...

I'm glad you started 'following' me or I would never have found your blog! Do we know each other in 'real life' I wonder? You have excellent taste in creepy dolls and it's nice to see someone from Bristol when i'm reading blogs. Um...sorry this isn't very coherant, but anyway thanks for adding me and now I shall go and read all your old entries!

Kitsch and Curious said...

Thanks Camilla! No, I don't think we've ever met, but I think we might know people who know people who know us by some equally roundabout route! My partner knows lots of people in the indie music scene in Bristol and I volunteered in the Here shop about two years ago, but only managed one day, as I got work after that and couldn't do it!