Friday, 30 July 2010

This is no time for a crisis

I think I may be having a mid-life crisis. Actually, I've been having one for at least five years. Is there an age limit on mid-life crises? (crisisses?) I only ask because I'm going to be 49 on Sunday, and it's freaking me out!

I'm being quite brave even mentioning it, as I'm normally reluctant to give my age on the internet. People have so many preconceptions. If you think I sound 30 or 70, so be it - I don't want to change your impression. However, I've decided to come clean and 'fess up. I am nearly 49 and I don't much like it.

Apart from the usual problems - aches & pains, wrinkles, feeling frumpy, and trying to avoid wearing reading glasses - I think I'm having a bit of a crisis because I feel I have yet to sort my life out. I left my 'proper job' five years ago and have managed to avoid being employed since. Instead I've been trying to find a way of earning a living from the things I enjoy. In practice, this means not earning a living, but having little or no income whatsoever. Mr Kitsch is in a similar situation, so we know we're going to have improve the situation pretty soon.
Just lately I've been getting a bit confused, because I don't think I'm very good at combining the vintage selling with the art/craft making. Whilst they do complement each other, I'm not very good at dividing my time effectively. I keep wondering if I spent more time on making things, whether I'd be able to find a more coherent style. Or at least pick a favourite medium. As it is, I find myself full of ideas, wanting to try so many things and not achieving half of them. At the same time, I'm filling the house with vintage things I don't have room for and am slow to sell. Do other people do this?
Well, I'm going to have spend some time on Art with a capital A now, as we had some exciting news this week. We've managed to book a small gallery called Room 212, for a week's exhibition in September. Mr Kitsch has been painting for a while now, and we decided to have a joint show. So I guess there's no time for introspection and crises - I need to get busy!


Chirimoya said...

I'm a few months older than you, and all the things you're mentioning ring a bell with me. I also buy lots of old books and only sell off surplus to help fund my hobby, so I'm keeping most of them... i do enjoy them, but I have a ridiculous amount. Ah well... I can't read that easily all of a sudden, but haven't got it together to get an eye test for glasses yet,and as for my memory... I was a self-employed dancer for almost twenty years, and without keeping a diary never missed a gig,even though most of my work was one-off engagements. I don't hardly know myself any more!
At least you know you're not alone! I still feel pretty much the same person, inside my head, but I've noticed that people have started reacting to me differently... Funny, isn't it?
Keep up the good work, and best of luck with the show!

Straight Talking Mama! said...

Are you me? Really are you me? Everything you say rings true, I'm 43 so feel like I'm having a bit of an early mid life crisis but I'm in a totally similar situation to you, business wise, financially and confused wise ha ha! Just wanted to let you know, you are not alone!

Cowboys and Custard Mercantile said...

Ah this is oh so familiar ..
I do think the old grey matter goes on a hike when reaching the heady heights of 49 .. but just wait till you get to my age!!!! I am forever walking into rooms and standing vacantly waiting for 'the reason' to come to me.
Very exciting news about your exhibition... definitely one for the calendar.. as long as I remember to look at the calendar otherwise I will never remember.. what with my dodgy memory, achey back, greying hair, middle age spread.. the list goes on!
Michele xx

Country Cottage Chic said...

I'm not that far off 49 either & I'm just ignoring it - keep repeating "I'm only as old as I feel" & I feel about 25 & I'm sticking to it!

Good luck with the exhibition - that will be a lot of fun!

menopausalmusing said...

Oh, I DO know what you meant when you wrote all this. I do, I do, I DO! BUT, 49 doesn't sound all that old to me...............

Ticking stripes said...

This so totally resonates with me. I gave up one day a week at work to try and address my work life balance but wanted to make sure I achieved something with my Fridays. I try to set myself targets - it makes me feel good about myself if I manage to hit them!

Camilla said...

I had absolutely no idea you were anywhere near 49! Not that there's anything at all wrong with being 49, but I always imagined you were a good 10-15 years younger than that! Will definitely come and see the show before I head off to Cornwall, be good to catch up with you both before then if possible.

Kitsch and Curious said...

Thank you all so much for your supportive words!

Chirimoya - Thank you for following me here from Flickr! I think your book collection is wonderful and I hope you keep them all.

Straight Talking Mama - Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!

Michele - It would be great if you get over for the exhibition at some point!

Jayne - That's a good plan!

Cathy - Yes, it's all relative, isn't it?

Wendy - That's impressively organised! I definitely think that goals can help, and I try to work to my To Do list.

Camilla - Well bless you for that! I've been meaning to get in touch, but time just keeps slipping away (hence the crisis, I suppose!).